Insipid Observations

Ramblings of a bored writer

Six Sentence Sunday: Frayed

This is my first time participating in Six Sentence Sunday. I had so much fun picking which work I wanted to use and even more fun narrowing it down to six sentences.

I finally decided on a snippet from a new (yes another one!) novel I’ve been working on tentatively titled, Frayed. It’s about a girl named Freya who leads a fairly normal life until her estranged grandmother, Elli, tells her she’s to be sacrificed for the good of humanity.

This scene is taken from Freya’s birthday party. It’s a little rough, but enjoy!

The front door swung open as if it were an old saloon door, hitting the wall so hard, the knob became embedded in the drywall.

An old woman stood at the entrance, hunched over and dressed in what looked like an old burlap sack that barely covered her unmentionables.

Her white hair was in a matted bun hanging precariously off the side of her head and as the breeze eased its way past her and into the house, noses crinkled, assaulted by a smell more putrid than rotten potatoes.

Eyes closed, head moving to and fro, she scented the air like a hound sniffing out a rabbit. Nostrils inflated, she leaned forward then jerked her head to the side. Eyelids lifted and irides murkier than a rain cloud met my own.

It’s always a fun day at Freya’s house!

Want in on the fun? Join Six Sentence Sunday!


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15 thoughts on “Six Sentence Sunday: Frayed

  1. Alix Cameron on said:

    Beautiful description, sensational six! Welcome.

  2. hehehe! Love the descriptions here, the saloon doors, her burlap sack, lol! I’m wondering what’s going to happen, now that she has Freya in her sights, methinks it’s bad news 😉 Nice six 🙂

  3. What an entrance! I love the comparison of the smell to rotten potatoes. Made my nose twitch.

  4. Great descriptions! Could totally picture her… Nothing like a grand entrance 🙂 You also did a great job weaving in other senses besides sight…

  5. Fabulous descriptions! Definitely one of the best I’ve read here today. 🙂 Welcome to Six Sentence Sunday. But beware. . .it’s addictive. I’m on week 20.

  6. Fantastic descriptions. Really enjoyed the six and glad to see you joining the fun 🙂

  7. Eleri Stone on said:

    Really like this. Sounds like there’s a good reason for the estrangement!

  8. Great SSS debut! That old woman gives me the heebie-jeebies! And I just had to get rid of a sack of rotten potatoes, so I can totally identify with that smell! :-s

    There were a couple of typos (“where” instead of “were”; “irides” instead of “irises”) but all in all I am enjoying Freya’s voice!

  9. Glad you enjoyed it J.C! Freya is a levelheaded and old Elli is in a league of her own. Oops, you caught my boo-boo. Thanks for letting me know! 😀

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